Sunday, August 24, 2008

Don't Steal This Post

I am not what most people would call a normal person. I say things out loud that most people wouldn't whimper in a dark closet. I will dance to a beat, even in the middle of a crowded intersection. I once took off my shirt at the dinner table to help someone clean their glasses.

I have come to the realization that I have very little, if any, inhibition. Imagine how most internet search engines have a search filter that keeps inappropriate sites from popping up. I don't have one of those on my mouth. If I think it, then I will probably say it. Why am I telling you this? you ask. Well, I'll tell you in the next paragraph.

First of all, some history. Since, hopefully, one can't find out my true identity from my blog (unless [1] my name really is Aladdin, or [2] you already know me), I feel no shame in telling you this. Midway through 2006(ish) I discovered that I am gay. If that bothers you, get off this site. Anyways, I took Drivers Ed over the summer, and I ran into a few of my old middle school friends there. One of them was not named Wayne Carleson, but for now, we'll call him Wayne. I hadn't seen Wayne since I graduated from a school not called Valleyvale Middle School. (If you're wondering about the pseudonyms, I really don't want to get other people incriminated for this). At lunch, we talked about what we'd done after we graduated from Valleyvale, and how we hated John, our Drivers Ed teacher, and the parties we went to over the summer. Surprisingly, all of the parties I went to were invitation only parties, whereas his were parties you had to pay to get into.

Pause for a second. There are a few things I have to tell you about before we keep going. First of all is a topic that is near and dear to my heart: assumptions. No, I don't like making assumptions about people, but I'm always fascinated by how people make assumptions. For example, you think if you click here (IMDB.com) you'll get whisked away to another website. Go ahead. Click it. Another thing that people assume is that…

…A new paragraph signifies a new subject. It didn't in this case. I bring this up because this story is about someone making assumptions about me. You also have to know about this one dude, named Kumar. I went to school with Kumar, and I didn't like him. No one really liked him. He was annoying, rude, and offensive. He once walked all the way across school to brag about his loose tooth to me. That was Kumar.

Anyways, back to drivers ed. Me and Wayne are talking, along with a few other old classmates. The conversation turns to personal discoveries. I mention my newfound sexual orientation. Of course I didn't think at the time that it was something that most people don't want to hear about. Immediately, Wayne says, "Oh, so you dated Kumar, didn't you?"

This question has rung in my ears for quite a while since. Because someone is annoying or strange or different, they are assumed to be gay. Because someone is gay, they are assumed to have dated every other gay person. I spent that night laying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how this assumption came up. I came upon the realization that in general, society likes people better if they fit into a certain stereotype. One of my friend's uncle is a psychologist, and he can't stand me because I don't fit into any of his medical terms. I'm not ADD, I'm not ADHD, I'm not obsessive compulsive, but I still act "not normal". I don't fit. And it drives him crazy.

A therapist would ask "What have you learned from this?" I'm  not sure what I've learned. But I think that I now have an understanding of why people have a filter on their mouth. There are some things that you just can't say around other people. Especially people who have been brainwashed by society. 

THE END.

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